While I was in college I had the luxury of following my passion as a writer.  I was prolific, on top of work and school often putting out 5-10K words a day, but then I graduated.  All the pressure of finishing college and entering into the "real world" again drained on my creativity.  Throughout the spring and summer of last year I continued to pursue my writing, but it had become tainted with the demands that I find a job so I might start paying off my student loans and contributing to our family income.

Eventually, a great deal of my passion for writing was temporarily flattened by the pressures of the so called 'real world'.  I found a job which I thought would be the perfect solution because I could work from home and do it whenever I wanted.  Unfortunately all of that pressure had finally broken me down, and while I spent more time working each day than any sane person should probably do, I was contributing to our income.  I made no time to write and projects that held a great deal of promise and joy for me began to gather dust inside my little 2MB portable hard drive. 

Around the holidays I started to realize how much it was killing me not to cater to my life's passion.  I had literally spent 2/3's of my lie pursuing writing.  While my successes to that point were small, I had big goals and a drive that would see them all achieved.  One by one I dust those projects off again and start working on them, but often it was with a sense of strange guilt, guilt that I should be doing something "else", something "worthwhile".

I know I am not the only one who has been jaded this way, but I refuse to give up.  I refuse to heed the call of "work" or "real world" no matter that the Dr. Phil voice in my head tells me that I'm being a fool.  What is life if not the dreams that fuel our waking every day?  What point is there to any of it all if we aren't doing what really matters?  And when i say "what really matters" I am talking not about the responsible things, but the risks--following the dreams that light us up from the inside out.  Isnt' that what really matters?  Isn't that really living?

location: The Thread of Some Dream mood: determined music: Wendy Rule tags: dreams, life, living, passion, writing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!

After taking a week off from reading His Dark Materials I finally settled in last night and tore up The Subtle Knife. Overall, I enjoyed it, and the reason I did was that it broke up the narrative structure of The Golden Compass and lent story threads to three other important characters.  I was originally fascinated by Serafina Pekkala and Lee Scoresby, so I was glad for them to continue on in this journey. 

I was also intrigued immediately by the introduction of the character Will.  Here we are shown this incredibly strong character who has been through so much in his incredibly short life, and he seems the perfect addition to Lyra's journey from the very moment they meet one another.  I loved how her headstrong behavior was called into question in this book, and she was shown time and again that just doing whatever she wants to do isn't always the best course of action.  Will's character was necessary to teach her that little bit of restraint.

The spectres were a brilliant addition, and as we got to know more about them, Will began to present the notion of spectres in his own world being a reasonable explanation for his mother's mental illness.  The revealing of Stanilaus Grumman's true nature was fantastic, as I honestly did not see that coming together the way it did because I was so caught up in the action of the rest of the story. 

Lord Boreal's cruelty was aptly punished before the end, and I have to say I was sickened by the description of his character early on.  He reminded me of one life's true monsters from the start, so for him to turn out as he was seemed fitting.

My one complaint about this book was that it started out strong, but it didn't end on its own strong enough.  The Golden Compass had a very powerful ending, and I expected the same from The Subtle Knife, but the end felt like a shudder more than a complete exhale.  There was very little in the way of "letdown" from the high points of the story, and now I have no choice but to read on in search of that release. 

I do see now what much of the religious fuss ado was about, and I think that it's a beautiful story.  The idea of the cycle having to start over again, for the universe to be born again is intriguing, and so on that note I am very much looking forward to the war of all wars, and whether or not Lyra will take her place at the end and beginning of all things.

Where I gave the Golden Compass a 10/10, I am going to have to say the Subtle knife is only an 8.9.  Not too shabby, but some of the big bang of the ending didn't trigger the emotional reaction it should have garnered.  On to the Amber Spyglass... Look out for that review.

location: Couchin' it mood: anxious tags: book review, books, phillip pullman, reading, reviews, the subtle knife

I finally found a copy of Ghost Hunting: True Stories of Unexplained Phenomenon from The Atlantic Paranormal Society, the new books by T.A.P.S. founders, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson.  Having been a big fan of the Ghost Hunters show on Sci Fi for a couple of years now, I was overjoyed to see that the guys had put together a book documenting some of their most awesome investigations.  Anyone who tried to get their hands on a copy of this book can tell you that it wasn't exactly easy to find in the beginning, but alas, I prevailed and skipped merrily home with my very own copy on Friday night.

Of course I ran off to the bath as soon as I got home and read through the first fifty pages, as it was impossible to put down.  It starts out with an introduction from Jason Hawes, which I found slightly surprising.  It's no holds barred and incredibly honest, just like the Jason we know from the show, and yet there was something else that shone through in his words that made him seem just a little softer.  He wrote from the heart in the early pages as he shared his first paranormal experiences which prompted him to seek out and eventually begin investigating paranormal activity.  

After taking a few pages to bring us up to date on the current T.A.P.S. crew, he dove into their early investigative history and led us behind the scenes of several investigations many have witnessed on the show.  I devoured many of the investigations I hadn't seen, and as I started to recognize them I thought I might get bored, but the occasional behind the scenes tidbit not previously revealed on the show made the stories equally interesting. 

There is also a brief collection of photos midway through the book, some with what is believed to be evidence of the paranormal T.A.P.S. has capturued during their investigations, while the rest are photos of the team or favorite investigation points.  The photographic evidence is very interesting, though I will say that being a greedy paranormal seeker, I would have loved to have seen more.  Of course, I can go out to any bookstore and pick up any other book with loads of pictures of what is proclaimed to be "paranormal" evidence, but I wouldn't trust it the same way I have come to trust the evidence T.A.P.S. provides. 

My only other complaint about the book was that Grant's contribution overall was very small.  While it was awesome taking the unexpected ride through Paranormal Alley with Mr. Hawes, I had expected to hear slightly more from Grant Wilson. Does Grant's minimal appearance detract from the overall book, yes and no.  Would I recommend not reading it based on that?  Absolutely not!  If anything, it left a bit of a hope inside me that we'll read more from America's favorite Ghost Hunters in the future.

Out of 10, I rate this book 9.7, and urge everyone with an interest in the paranormal to rush out and buy a copy for themselves today!!

location: Shh! It's a Secret mood: content music: Silence tags: book review, books, ghost hunters, ghost hunting, ghosts, grant wilson, jason hawes, paranormal investigation, sci fi, taps

Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight Cartoon Review My husband and I started dating about sixteen years ago, and one of the things we shared at the time was the Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman Dragonlance Chronicles. We spent hours discussing the characters, the plot, the future potential for the series.  We read the short story collections about our favorite characters, and gladly spun-off into the realm of Ravenloft with some of them as well.  I won't say that our entire grand and wondrous love affair was spawned from Dragonlance, but our love of reading certainly did bond us in ways no one ever expected. 

Recently, an event we discussed hundreds of times over finally occurred.  They first turned Dragons of Autumn Twilight into a comic book, nicely illustrated and tantalizing because shortly thereafter it was confirmed that a cartoon film was underway.  The more we learned about it, the more our sighs of disappointment flooded  the air. A cartoon... when we had seen the wonders created by Peter Jackson in bringin Middle-earth to life... okay, I could settle for that.  There have been some pretty amazing cartoons since the Japanime revolution and the art technology discovered in the last ten years.  It could be amazing, in fact, how could it not be under those circumstances?  Even with Kiefer Sutherland as the voice of our beloved Raistlin... it still had the potential to be amazing... Right?

So we waited... and waited... and waited some more, and then we forgot about it completely until one day Jason stopped off of at the video store and saw it's empty place on the shelf.  His excitement knew no bounds, and then he rushed off the very next day to another nearby video store and swiped that copy off the shelf before anyone else caught wind of it.  Meanwhile, I had googled some reviews out of sheer curiosity.  What were other DL fans saying about it?  Most of the reviews were negative, claiming that it was quite a bit like watching He-Man and the quality wasn't much better either. 

I was scared.

As we sat down and started watching, the rumors one by one came true.  It did look like He-Man!  They did spend entirely too much time focusing on Tika's bouncy bussoms and Caramon's befuddled ogling of them.   Then we just sunk in and watched it.  I won't say it was the best cartoon in the world, but in truth the quality of it wasn't all that bad.  The story hovered very close to the original, leaving out only a few cringeworthy details.  He-Man wasn't even that bad of a cartoon, you know.  I may not have spent every waking moment at the Castle Greyskull, but my brothers did, and it was probably one of the better fantasy cartoons of the time.  So the fact that we read Dragonlance just around that time is almost fitting then... isn't it?  It was like a trip down memory lane on more levels than one.

Now why they didn't go all out with the cartoon, I guess we'll never really know.  I was under the impression that R.A. Salvatore had scored bajillions of dollars for WoC, but maybe that's just not true.  Maybe it'll be gain cult status over time, like the original Tolkien cartoons, and inspire some current high school kid to grow up and make the Dragonlance Chronicles into an epic sextet to rival Lord of the Rings in the year 2021.   Here's hoping...

location: ya know, around... mood: hopeful music: In Elven Lands tags: cartoons, dragonlance, dragons, dragons of autumn twilight, he-man, keifer sutherland, reviews

**** SPOILER ALERT!!!!****

I finally took a couple days to sit down and read The Golden Compass to see what all the fuss was about. Yes, I know I am incredibly behind the times, but I'm here now and that is all that matters.

I enjoyed Lyra's character very much, and the notion of having an animal counterpart as part of the soul was intriguing.  I liked how in the adults you could tell almost everything you needed to know about who they were just by judging the final shape of their daemon.  I loved how the book started out with the action straight away, opening the secret door and shedding light on the entire plot in such a way that made the book almost impossible to put down.  Even the early descriptions of her adventures with Roger were fun to read.  I thought calling the bad guys "Gobblers" was very clever, and then to find out that there was an even deeper reason behind the name gave me a bit of a shiver.  That whole relationship she had with Mrs. Coulter was like that dizzying nausea you get after you've had too much sugar and spun madly on the merry-go-round.  You want to throw up and then hide, but you're still so elated by the very idea of it all that you keep spinning until it's too late.  I even had a moment where I thought it would be incredibly insane if Mrs. Coulter somehow turned out to be Lyra's mother, and then BLAM! The whole world falls apart and you find out that is exactly what Mrs. Coulter is, only you don't want it to be true. 

The adventure aspect of the story was amazing, and there were several "seat of the pants" moments during which I was sure Lyra was going to have her daemon severed from her for sure.  However my greatest disappointment in the book was Lord Asriel's character.  Yes, you get the feeling that he's not exactly the nicest guy, and I certainly wouldn't want to find out he was my father, but the whole end scene is mindboggling.  Learning that Lord Asriel has the power to manifest that which he calls for was intriguing, but the scene between Mrs. Coulter and him was both disturbing and twisted.  I am sure it was meant to be, but all the while I spent thinking Mrs. Coulter was the epitome of evil, only to discover that somehow it's really Lord Asriel.  The name should say it all, I suppose, but Mrs. Coulter really sounds much colder and more horrid in my ears.

My favorite scene was with the bears, when Iorek Byrnison challenged the crazy king to the death and then won because Iorek was more like a bear than the very bears who cast him out to begin with. 

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book.  There was hardly a scene in which I found myself bored or wishing to hurry on to the next page, and now I can't wait to dive into The Subtle Knife. 

I will say that a lot of the "religious" issue so far has been interesting, and I am looking forward to seeing how that unfolds. 

I give it ***** out of ***** on the riveting fantasy story scale. 

And as a fan of Harry Potter, I must say that the writing is a lot tighter.

location: Iorek Byrnison's House mood: pensive music: Blackmore's Night tags: book review, books, fantasy, fiction, his dark materials, reading, reviews, the golden compass

When you realize that 85% of your life's issues revolve around lack of motivation, how do you motivate yourself to change?  Even if it doesn't seem like something important, but you know it is, how do you pencil it into your life and follow through?  I mean the pencilling part is EASY!  I can plan out everything I need to do for the next two years, but how do you follow through?  Do you have to link it to some form of enjoyment first?  Why can't you just do it knowing the enjoyment will come later?  There is a part of me sometimes that wishes my parents had sent me to some kind of crazy bootcamp so I'd learned discipline, but on the other hand, I love free will too much to just abandon it completely.

Maybe I should ask Tom Cruise.  He seems to have all the answers.... sorry, couldn't resist.  

mood: frustrated music: Heather Dale

I was skeptical about this when I first heard that the main TAPs team wouldn't be present, just a handful of regulars with Barry from Ireland and a new teamleader, but I have to say... two episodes in and I am already blown away.  The team is just as professional and thorough without Jason and Grant, which is a load off, and it seems that the history of the places they have already investigated has lent quite a bit of paranormal activity to their investigations.

Generally, one of my only gripes about Ghost Hunters is the eerie sound effects they play in the background since the investigations aren't "live".  It makes it hard for viewers to hear the "sounds" or whispers the investigators sometimes claim to hear.  Last night, however, while the International team was investigating the Abbey of Lucedio, they were in the chapel and Briand and Donna were  noting and experiencing a lot of activity.  Just before the three investigators turned to each other in shock, there was an audible whisper: "Go Away!" And of course the investigators asked each other if they'd just heard something.  They had all heard it too.  It was the first time as a viewer that the sound effects didn't interfere with a potential experience, and it seems like they might not have even realized that it was captured on the video.  

Anyway, two thumbs up to TAPS overseas.  Thank you SciFi for the quality interlude of entertainment while Ghost Hunters local is on hiatus until March!! 

location: in a bubble mood: full music: some bard guy tags: ghost hunters, ghosts, internationsl, italy, overseas, sci-fi, taps